. . . Strides ruthlessly through my front-garden bushes and flowerbed every day from the house to the left of mine, instead of using the footpath like everyone else. Even when he doesn’t have any mail for me. See, it’s a shortcut to the house to the right of mine, too, so, of course, he strides ruthlessly through the bushes and flowerbed that side, as well. (For my American readers, a lot of Brits get their mail pushed through a special flap in the front door, instead of deposited in a mail box at their garden gate.)

No, I am not going to go all Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange on you, and turn this into a tale of passion and murder. And no, I am not about to pick up my phone and make a complaint to the Royal Mail about him, either, because I don’t want to get the guy into trouble for a bit of bush flattening and grass squelching. But it is one of those little things that I find annoying.

That is, until the postman sent me a Christmas card, yesterday morning. When I say “sent” I mean that he pushed it through my letterbox during the course of striding between bushes and flowerbeds. The sweet little card features gaily-wrapped Christmas presents, snowflakes, Christmas puddings, and other festive items on the front. Inside, it says, “Merry Christmas, from postman XXXXX.” He’s not really called XXXXX, of course, but let’s call him that for the sake of privacy.

Now that I am on first name terms with XXXXX I feel a bit guilty about getting cross with his bush-and-flowerbed striding every day. I mean, that man delivers the mail through rain and snow, through heatwaves and storms.

And then today I saw this report on the BBC’s website, and feel like a complete and utter bitch for getting annoyed with XXXXX in the first place.

Postmen ‘pressured to go faster’

Royal Mail managers are “bullying” workers into walking faster on their rounds, it has been claimed.

The Communication Workers Union (CWU) says that a new system, Pegasus, is being used requiring delivery staff to walk at four miles an hour.

Postal workers have told BBC Radio 5 Live that the pace set is “unachievable”, and that some staff have been sacked for being too slow.

Who knew that poor XXXXX could be under such pressure?

Michelle, thinking that XXXXX deserves a nice Christmas present from all on his round.