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No, I am not going all Mary Poppins on you (although I could, according to Super Mum, recite supercalerfrajelisticexpialidocious perfectly when I was three).

One of my New Year’s resolutions this year was to be more proactive in helping others, including non-human animals, so I decided that one of the easiest and instant things I could do would be to install a bird feeder in my back garden. There is a little copse of trees just over the fence from my back garden, and it is filled with a variety of our feathered friends, so this would be a perfect way of helping them through the winter. Of course, the birds had other ideas. . .

Here’s a pictoral account of my attempt to feed the birds.

Little copse of trees.

Bird feeder.

A bird totally ignoring my bird feeder.

More birds totally ignoring my bird feeder.

After a week of this I came up with an idea to tempt them. Quite a few birds visit one of my patio areas and dig between the paving stones for bugs, so I decided on a Hansel and Gretle bread-crumb approach. Except instead of bread I would use peanuts, and guide the birds to my feeder. Yes! This would surely work.

So I put down a trail on the patio area. . .

I led it across the grass. . .

And over a little wall. . .

And onto the patio area at the back of the garden to just under where the bird feeder resides. . .

Then I settled down in my dining room to watch the birds settling down to my humble offering. And I waited. And waited some more. And waited even more. And then it was dark, so the birds went to bed and so did I.

The next day the peanut trail had gone, but the birds were still ignoring my bird feeder. How could they find my peanut trail and not the feeder? I decided to investigate this mystery by laying another trail across the garden, and exactly the same thing happened again. The birds ignored the peanuts. So I observed into the evening, because it was clear that something was eating my peanuts.

Finally, I saw a movement on the grass. It was a small shrew or mouse-like mammal. I was fascinated as I watched it for about an hour, nimbly skipping across the garden and collecting my peanut offerings. And you know what? I was just so happy to be feeding anything!

Although “Feed the shrews, two pounds forty nine pence a bag” just doesn’t have the same catchy ring to it, does it?