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Michelle on writing and life.

 

I’ve Been Chugged!

And on multiple occasions, too. It happens every time I go into town, which would be every weekday on my way to and from my day job. Sometimes it happens more than once a day. And sometimes on weekends, too. I can’t go anywhere these days without being chugged, it seems! Sigh.

But Michelle, I hear you all cry, What on earth are you talking about? Isn’t chugging something to do with drinking copious amounts of warm beer on university campuses or in pubs? Is it students stopping you on the street and making you chug beer with them?

Sadly, no. I have no problem with that kind of chugging (as long as it is not frequent and is done responsibly). I may have partaken of that kind of chugging myself, in my younger years. I may even have quaffed a bit, too. :)

Here in the UK a chugger is a CHarity mUGGER. Usually they are people who work for a for-profit company hired by a charity to raise donations. They are usually young people, often students just trying to make a few quid to put themselves through college. They take to the streets, usually in packs of about five or six,  wearing the emblem of the charity on a T-shirt, or similar. And they all carry scary-looking, official clip boards!

Their mission: to accost innocent passers-by with a friendly manner, to try to get said innocent passers-by to feel so guilty about worthwhile, needy children’s charities, or worthwhile, needy animal charities, or other equally worthwhile and needy charities, that the passers-by feel compelled to hand over their bank details, sign the dotted line, and commit to  the charity deducting a monthly donation from the person’s bank account. Ad infinitum.

Here is something they don’t really tell you, though: for about the first year or so the for-profit keeps that donation as its fee, and thereafter transfers the money to the charity. I should add, as a disclaimer, that not all chuggers are working for a for-profit organization, some work for the charities directly.

Now, I have no problem with this. There are many worthy charities in this world, and they do have to raise funds however they can in this austere day and age. And I have no problem with these young chuggers benefitting from a bit of hard work and using their charm for a good cause. But there are just so many of them, it gets so tiring! Especially the ones who make you feel ultra guilty.

My recent experience of chugging was exactly that. A very personable young man asking a question that is a non-question, a non-question to which there is only one reasonable answer.

This is what happened:

There I was, innocently walking through the center of town, shopping bags in hand (and heavy ones, because I’d just been to the supermarket) when this young whippersnapper appeared out of nowhere and flashed his teeth and his scary-looking, official clip board at me.

“Are you an animal lover, madam?” he asked, with a cheery manner and a jaunty smile. Apart from feeling rather ancient because he called me “madam,” I was a bit irritated, because, apart from the fact that my heavy shopping bags were making my arms feel like they were in imminent danger of falling off, how many people are not going to say “yes” to such a loaded question? “Are you an animal lover, madam.” Bah, humbug. As it turns out, that person not saying “yes” in answer to the question would be yours truly.

“Of course not,” I replied with a completely straight face. “I can’t STAND the little critters.” He realized I was just joking. I think. It was a bit hard to tell, since he was speechless. . .

Michelle, who has just inherited a kitty, and who is most definitely not an animal hater!

PS. I am also a charity lover. My new contest (details to come soon) will involve prizes that include donations to charity from me on behalf of the contest winner. But directly to the charity, no middle-person chuggers allowed!

How My Life Became The Second Law of Thermodynamics!

I can’t believe that I’ve been away from here for over a year, or that such a long time has passed so quickly, but it’s absolutely true!

Without being specific and depressing everyone (because those who read my blog or my books know that depressing is not the tone I aim for), several Big Bangs happened, family-wise. Chaos ensued, and now, finally, order is taking over. But hopefully entropy won’t ensue, or I won’t have any energy left to continue!

Anyway, I am getting back into Internetlandia and bloglandia, and hope that you’ll come back and read about all the trials, and tribulations, and various trouble with travel that I have had (yes, there have been more – sometimes I wonder if I should just stay home where it is safe), and about a visit to The Tower of London for an author friend of mine to try to work out how her heroine could steal the Crown Jewels (that absolutely true, too)!

Meanwhile, there will also be a new contest very soon, so please check back here for details!

Michelle, hopefully achieving steady-state!

Memory Lane?

One of the reasons I adore Oh Patient One is that he can be very whimsical, and even the smallest, teeniest memory he treasures dearly.

So, this summer we made a couple of trips to Wales because a) it is a beautiful country, b) Oh Patient One is from there originally, c) he wanted to revisit places from his childhood, d) he wanted to re-connect with family members from his Dad’s side after quite a long time, and e) meet a lot of family members for the first time.

One thing I can tell you is that the Welsh language, beautiful as it is, doesn’t come easily to me. It either has too many vowels, or none at all, so I struggled with place names like Llangollen (literally klangocklen) and Betws-y-coed (literally betsy coyed). The place we stayed is called Rhostyllen. The nearest pronunciation I can offer is “Roast Duckling.”

Let me also say that, apart from being a lovely, welcoming, warm group of people, it was the first time ever in my life that I have been in the company of so many who share our last name of Cunnah. When we lived in London several years ago there were only three Cunnahs in the entire phone book, amidst a population of about seven million, so this was quite exciting for us.

Anyway, while we were in Wales we visited every conceivable place Oh Patient One’s family, both current, long-time dead and recently passed away, has ever lived. We looked at the nursing home where Oh Patient One was born (it’s the first time he’s been back there since birth), we ooohed and aaaahed at the small house where he spent about 2 years of his young life, we marveled at the farm where he used to visit his bff aged 4. We particularly admired the house where his deceased uncle lived about 30 years ago (the deceased uncle only died last year and lived in a lot of other places in the last 30 years, too).

On one of our expeditions we visited a pub that had “family significance.” It was a lovely country pub on the river Dee, it was totally picturesque, really, with hanging baskets of flowers, and we even had sunshine which made it look extra pretty. And I must be honest, the sunshine was unusual, because Wales isn’t green and lush because it gets a lot of that particular commodity.

Anyway. Oh Patient One wanted a picture of him and Teenager No #2 sitting on the bridge over the river because 20 plus years ago Oh Patient One and his dad had their picture taken on this same bit of wall, so it was “for posterity.” Being interested in Oh Patient One’s family background, Teenager No #2 asked, “This pub clearly means a lot to you and your memories of your Dad. You must have come here a lot.” Oh Patient One said, without missing a beat, “Oh no, we only came here the once.”

See what I mean about the whimsy?

The last morning  of our trip was pretty exciting. We visited the grave of Oh Patient One’s great-great-great- Uncle Samuel Cunnah, who went to Patagonia, ended up being rich, was childless, came back to Wales and left all his money to his four great-nieces (I’ve seen a copy of the will) and not to his niece (mother of the four great nieces and who lived with Samuel Cunnah in his later years) so clearly there is a family tale we will never know about. But whatever the secret, Samuel Cunnah has an ornate tombstone, with a huge angel on it and everything. It’s the largest tombstone in the graveyard in Coedpoeth (I can’t tell you how to pronounce that, since I can’t manage it myself).

A lovely time was had by all. But I still can’t pronounce the longest place name in Wales, either. It’s. . . LlanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllLlantysiliogogogoch
:)

If At First You Don’t Succeed. . .

. . . Try, try again.

That’s what my parents always said to encourage my sisters and I whenever we were thwarted in our young lives. I’m pretty keen on that advice.  After all, it took me several years of try, try again to write something that would be published, and finally (after many rejections) 32AA did it for me.

Well, I have to really hand it to Mrs. Cha of Jeonju, South Korea. I think she must qualify for some kind of world record for trying.

Woman passes 950th driving test

After four years of trying, 68-year-old Cha Sa-soon finally managed to secure the 60 out of 100 points needed to pass the test.

Here’s what Mrs. Cha had to say:

“I believe you can achieve your goal if you persistently pursue it,” she told Reuters news agency.

Now that’s what I call persistence. You can see the full article, here.

Meanwhile, congratulations, Mrs. Cha!

Michelle (with just over 10,000 NaNoWriMo words under my belt so far)

Are You a NaNoWriMo-er?

For the first time ever, I decided that this was the year for me to swell the writerly ranks at NaNoWriMo.org. It’s been such a hectic time, I really felt I needed a kick start on several book proposals I’m working on.

National Novel Writing Month is a yearly challenge organized by Chris Baty. Commencing on November 1, the aim is to write a complete (or nearly a complete) book of 50,000 words by midnight on 30 November.  No editing required, just write your heart out and worry about tidying it up later.

Why not come jump in? The water’s fine. :)

Michelle, with 2,000 words from day one, and aiming for the same today.

Even More Contest Winners!

So, things have still been hectic, and I’ve been even more quiet online!

Without further ado, I’d like to announce two more contest winners. The Fortunate Fashioninstas are (insert drumroll) Cheryl F of Fort Wayne, IN, and Mina G from Hamburg, PA.

Congratulations, gals! Copies of Almost Fabulous will be in the mail to you both as soon as I get back to the UK in December!

Meanwhile, I’m giving away even more copies of Almost Fabulous for my contest here at michellecunnah.com

Thanks to all for playing!

More Contest Winners!

I am so so late announcing this, forgive me! Things have been rather hectic over the past few months and I can be a bit of a scatter brain (every day when I wake up I have that moment of confusion, and wonder, “Where the hell am I?).

Anyway, without further deliberation, I am happy to announce that the winners for my July and August contests are (drum roll. . . more drum roll. . .) Rita W of Hisperia, CA, USA, and Kirsten S of Urmond, the Netherlands. They corretly answered that the gift Joe bought for Fiona was a silver trilobite necklace.

Congratulations/gefeliciteerd Rita and Kirsten! Copies of Almost Fabulous will shortly be in the mail to you both.

Meanwhile, I have a new contest question and more books to give away, details right here.

Michelle, currently somewhere in England. At least I think I am. . .

Cry Baby!

That would be me. Yes. I am a self-admitted cry baby.

I am crying because of a piece I just read on the BBC’s website about a wonderful feat committed by a wonderful human being.

Nicholas Winton, now Sir Nicholas Winton (he was knighted in 2003), saved the lives of 669 Jewish children from Czechoslovakia. Between March and August 1939 he found homes for them, and arranged for trains to transport them to Great Britain.

In 1938, Nicholas Winton, then a young stockbroker, was due to go skiing with friends in Switzerland when he received a phone call urging him to change his plans and visit Prague, where an emergency was unfolding.

Sir Nicholas Winton
I think there is nothing that can’t be done if it is fundamentally reasonable

The caller was his friend Martin Blake, a master at Westminster School and an ambassador for the British Committee for Refugees from Czechoslovakia, which was helping adults escape.

Two months earlier, Hitler’s troops had occupied the disputed territory of Sudetenland, on Czechoslovakia’s border with Germany, driving thousands from their homes.

In other countries, refugee organisations had begun organising the “Kindertransports” – a series of trains carrying thousands of Jewish children out of central Europe. But no such plan existed in Czechoslovakia.

After visiting refugee camps outside Prague, Winton realised he had to act quickly.

“I found out the children of refugees and other groups of people who were enemies of Hitler weren’t being looked after. I decided to try to get permits to Britain for them.

“Everybody in Prague said, ‘Look, there is no organisation in Prague to deal with refugee children, nobody will let the children go on their own, but if you want to have a go, have a go’.

Thank goodness Sir Nicholas had a go! *Seventy years later some of those children he saved are traveling to Prague, then from Prague to London to retrace their journey.

They will be met at Liverpool Street station by Sir Nicholas, now aged 100.

What an amazing man you are, Sir Nicholas, and as well as adding you to my hero list, I am also adopting your words as my new motto–I have them on a sticky which I have attached to the side of my computer.

“And I think there is nothing that can’t be done if it is fundamentally reasonable.”

I think we can all agree that it was fundamentally reasonable to save all those lives.

Michelle, still sniffling. :)

* Edited for error: originally this read sixty years rather than seventy.

Happy Anniversary?

Unfortunately, I have a habit of forgetting dates. Especially our wedding anniversary.  Fortunately, Oh Patient One (who is pretty good at remembering dates) also has a habit of forgetting the date of our wedding anniversary.

Not that we hated our wedding, or anything, because it was absolutely great. It was a lot of fun. We got married at Marylebone Town Hall in London (which used to be very popular with pop stars), then back to St. John’s Wood to my sister-in-law’s apartment for a party with family and friends, then off to Amsterdam for our honeymoon (was it at that point in time we decided that we loved the Netherlands and wanted to move there?) and that was fab, too.

No, we just decided early in our relationship that we would celebrate our anniversaries privately and quietly, and only make a fuss of the big ones. So from time-to-time we forget and remember a couple of days later. It’s no biggie, we always laugh about it, then use it as an excuse to go out for a nice dinner.

Well, this year it was a bit different. On Saturday night as we sat chatting and sipping wine on our balcony in the Rotterdam apartment Oh Patient One reminded me that we had an anniversary coming up on August 25th, so we planned to go out for dinner to de Stoep (the best place in Rotterdam to get spare ribs–if you are ever in Rotterdam it’s well worth a visit).

Anyway, on Tuesday morning we remembered to say “happy anniversary” to each other, and spent a nice, quiet day working on our books (Oh Patient One is a writer, too). The sun was shining and all was right with the world. Until that afternoon when I was instant messaging with No Longer Teenager No: #1. This is the conversation we had:

Me: “Got to abandon you and go get ready, sweetie – it’s our anniversary today and we’re off out to dinner.”

No Longer Teenager No #1: “But today’s the 25th, Mum. Your anniversary is August 23rd.”

Me: “No, it’s definitely today. Even Dad agrees, and you know that he’s usually good with dates.”

No Longer Teenager No: #1 (a bit exasperated, even in cyberspace: I could tell): “Mother, what are you like? It’s definitely the 23rd.”

So I asked Oh Patient One what he thought, and he said that it was definitely the 25th. By now I wasn’t so sure and thought I’d get out our marriage certificate (again) until I realized that it was at the house in England. Not one to be thwarted, I used teh googles to find a calendar for the year we got married, and guess what? No Longer Teenager No: #1 was right.

Me: “You are right. How could we make such a mistake?”

No Longer Teenager No: #1 (along with LOL and smilies): “Mother, that’s just so like you. Do you even remember the birth dates of your offspring?”

Me (a bit huffily, because I never forget their birthdays): “Of course I do. No woman ever forgets the excruciating pain of childbirth, it is etched inexorably on her brain and internal calendar. Even though all that pain was worth it. :)

Anyway, Oh Patient One and I had a good laugh about the dates muddle, and got ourselves ready to go out to dinner. Who cares if we were a couple of days late? But when we got to de Stoep there was a problem. It was fully booked. This is unusual for a Tuesday night. The Dutch universities open this coming week, and there was a big party of students booked in for that evening. But if we wanted to wait two hours then they could squeeze us in.

We got takeout from our favorite Chinese restaurant, instead. We know how to live. :)

PS. Oh Patient One secretly planned a surprise trip to Paris for our 20th anniversary. How romantic was that?

PPS. We both fell in love with Paris. Maybe that means we’ll live there someday, too. . .

I’m Offended: The Sequel!

So, about five years ago my great-uncle went to see his primary care doctor because of trouble with his heart, and his doctor sent him to see a heart specialist. The heart specialist told my great-uncle that he needed serious heart surgery.

But then the evil National Health Service (NHS) Death Panel stepped in and decreed that my great-uncle, a regular guy who had spent most of his working life on a factory production line, was too old (71) and was therefore of no further use to society. He was not entitled to expensive heart bypass surgery. That kind of surgery was strictly rationed for only younger people. The evil NHS Death Panel also decreed that it was more cost effective simply to euthanize him and turn him into soylent green crackers. Because, the evil NHS Panel explained, my great-uncle would be doing society one last service by providing it with food. A win-win situation!

Then, nearly three years ago, my niece became pregnant. How lovely, we all thought. It’s about time for another addition to the family. We love babies! However, during her excellent, routine, NHS pre-natal care, it was discovered that her fetus had Down Syndrome. That was a blow, but being in a loving, stable relationship, and having a close, supportive family, and after much thought, my niece decided to proceed with the pregnancy. Her body, her choice.

But then the evil NHS Death Panel stepped in and decreed that a Down Syndrome child would be a drain on society, could have no useful purpose whatsoever, and so forced my niece to have a termination. For the good of the nation, you understand. Plus, the evil NHS Death Panel loves nothing more than to eat babies.

Fast forward in time to last year. My dear grandmother (then 85), who has Alzheimer’s and diabetes, became dangerously ill. She couldn’t eat or drink. She could barely get out of bed, and we all feared the worst. After several home visits from her primary care physician, an ambulance was called.

When my grandmother arrived at the hospital the evil NHS Death Panel told the ambulance team not to bother taking her out of the ambulance, because the NHS hospital wasn’t going to bear the expense of treating her. It further decreed that because she was no longer a useful member of society, and old (evil NHS Death Panels hate old people) she, too, must be euthanized and–you guessed–turned into soylent green crackers.

“OMG! Where is this dystopia of which you speak?” I hear you all cry.

Oh, you know, that socialist, evil place more commonly know as Great Britain, where we have socialized medicine (so that we can kill people who no longer have any value to society), socialized schools (it’s okay, the evil school Death Panels kill all the kids who have an IQ of less than 100, or ones who are naughty), socialized police (the evil police Death Panels kill all the criminals for us so we don’t have to pay for their prison stays via taxes), and a variety of other socialized institutions like public libraries (our evil librarian Death Panels kill all the people who return their books late, or people who want to read books they don’t approve of), much like many other first-world countries.

“OMG, shall we send in an emergency rescue team to swoop down in their Blackhawks to rescue you? Tell us Great Britain isn’t really like that novel we read in school–you know–the one written by that author who really hated social injustice. That George Orwell guy. Tell us it ain’t so!”

Relax. It ain’t so. And although all three scenarious I described above are true, the outcomes of those scenarios are not, and in a moment I shall tell you their true happy endings.

But why set up this silly, horrible, dystopic picture of Great Britain in the first place? Because I have been rather shocked over the past week to see some American media outlets, astroturf websites, and American politicians uttering these lies about our British NHS, to distract good Americans from your debate about your own system and suggested reforms.

You even had one of our extremist idiot Euro MP’s on TV saying bad things about our NHS (and let me just add that, come election time, this guy will be toast–he will either be de-selected by his party or voted out, I can more-or-less guarantee that). David Cameron, the head of this idiot’s party, was really quick to jump in and refute this idiot’s comments, and reiterate how much he, David Cameron, loves the NHS and would protect it if elected Prime Minister. Our Prime Minister and his wife also quickly joined the twitter campaign without losing any time.

And as for the two British ladies used for this dishonest campaign of lying to the American public? They were both quick to say that they were deceived, and that their comments were not used in the way that had been explained to them. They were a little naive to take part, but the point is that they want the NHS improved, not abandoned.

In fact, Brits love the NHS so much, we consider it one of our greatest achievements. A national treasure. A bit tarnished around the edges, but nothing a little TLC can’t fix. I am not saying it is perfect, because it is not. It IS socialized medicine (why is socialist such a bad word, BTW?), and the reason it was set up in the first place is because we consider health care to be a basic human right for all of our citizens, just like the basic human right of education for all of our children.

True, it is paid for by our taxes – everybody’s taxes – and everyone is entitled to use it for free at the point of need, whether they are millionaires or just some regular guy like my great-uncle. But we can also take out private health insurance if we want to, and can afford it, and we can also pay to be treated privately, if we can afford it. But the security of having the NHS to hold our backs is that at least we don’t usually have to sell our houses or declare bankruptcy because someone in the family became ill.

Most of you know that I spent six years living in your wonderful country (I joke to my friends that I wish I was half American), so have first-hand experience of both systems. I don’t intend to do a comparison, firstly because this blog would turn into a book, secondly, because blogger Strawberry, an American who spent 14 years in Great Britain, has done a really good job of doing precisely that here (excellent overview), and thirdly, because I haven’t yet told you the outcome of my three family-health scenarios.

My great-uncle was put on a waiting list not just because there were people more ill ahead of him, but also because his doctor was concerned about him having the surgery due to him being very overweight. I am happy to report that he lost weight, had the surgery, and five years later he is still in good shape for a man his age.

The prognosis of Down Syndrome was false (people make mistakes in all professions) and my niece gave birth to a lovely baby girl. We love her to bits. We would still love her to bits if she did have Down Syndrome, too.

My grandmother was admitted to hospital and treated by specialists. They adjusted her meds, and she is happy, physically quite healthy, and still reading romances, despite her advanced Alzheimer’s.

One last thing. You all know that Professor Stephen Hawking is secretly British, yes? I think we will keep this national treasure, too. :)

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